did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
