sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
