What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
