did you get engaged???
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
