Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
