took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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