Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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