i jhust puked up my retainher.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
