I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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