if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Will you blow on my dice?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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