I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
