Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
