That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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