i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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