And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
