And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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