were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
