is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
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