So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
