i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
