K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
is that a dick in a sweater?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
