My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
