bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
