Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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