you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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