That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
