CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
