I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You are a booty call, not a friend.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
