i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
