I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
