What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
