We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
