you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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