did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
