we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
