Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
