hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
