ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
