Sry I called you an 8
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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