weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I wear drunk well.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
