we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
