people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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