So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
birth control should be required to get into college
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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