This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The power of my boobs compel you
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
