Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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