I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
