I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
