Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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