she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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