we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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