Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
