There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
