Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
