Can Purell be used as lube?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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