Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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