Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
