I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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