But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My cat gives me a boner
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
