I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
