I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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