if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
