I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Green mimosas i think yes
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
