No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize