this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
